Conservative Bastion
The only blog that can factually claim to shift the Bell Curve, along with the hearts & minds of America, to the right.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Drew Barrymore Enlightens the World
This is from askmen.com regarding Drew Barrymore:

Drew Barrymore claims she is "a sexual, free, f***ing nudist wood nymph" when it comes to sex.

The actress, who recently split from her long-term boyfriend The Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, insists she has a very liberal attitude towards sex which she is proud of.

Drew - who has hinted she is bisexual - said in an interview with Jane magazine: "I'm a sexual, free, f***ing nudist little bird running around and a wood nymph when it comes to sexuality."

Drew has also revealed she wants to have a family.
Sounds like you're doing a bang up job. Keep up the good work Drew. Wait...there's more.

Despite her previous failed relationships, the 'Charlie's Angels' star is still looking for 'Mr. Right' to settle down with and have babies.

She added: "I would definitely like to have a family one day. I don't know when or with who, but I don't picture myself alone or bitter.

"When I get old, I am not going to be wearing polyester pants either. I'm going to wear old Levis' and Birkenstocks.
Awwww...well just keep doing what you're doing. Eighth time's the charm right?

The way I see it, we should all have sex with about 25 people before we get married. That way we can properly test our sexual compatability with every possible body and personality type and every combination thereof.

From those 25 partners, we should have kids with about three so we can make sure we keep all our options open. After all, some people aren't going to be good parents. This way, you can pick who you would like to spend the rest of your life with from the best of three. It's a sweet deal.

I know what the readers of the Conservative Bastion are thinking:

WTF, shouldn't we follow the time tested formual of sexual prudence. Doesn't it make sense to have a limited amount of partners to avoid STD's, broken hearts, and broken homes.

My answer: NONSENSE! You have to be open-minded like me. We should have sex with as many partners as possible (like animals) because it feels good.

And with that...I would like to end this post with a visual aide...


**Sigh**

Sexual morals only a degenerate could love...

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1 Comments:
Blogger Ben said...
i heart you dq. seriously. i loved the myspace bulletin, because i was thinking "WTF is wrong with Quijano... Drew Barrymore... ? she's a fatass..."

honestly though, I'd hit that. sorry.

-bh

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