Conservative Bastion
The only blog that can factually claim to shift the Bell Curve, along with the hearts & minds of America, to the right.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Another Reason I Hate Environmentalists
For those of you who keep up with this kind of a thing, the following excerpts are taken from an article about James Hansen – a scientist who has claimed the Bush administration is trying to censor him. This man is the basis for many people referring to George Bush and his ilk as Nazi’s. Here are the best parts of the Washington Times article.

A NASA scientist who said the Bush administration muzzled him because of his belief in global warming yesterday acknowledged to Congress that he'd done more than 1,400 on-the-job interviews in recent years.
Wow…1,400 interviews! Maybe this guy SHOULD be censored and put back to work. He has too much time on his hands.

…Mr. Hansen conducted 15 interviews in the month after accusing the Bush administration of censorship.
I can already smell the idiocy on this guy. Only a true moron can give 15 interviews in one month, be silenced once, and think that there is a conspiracy to shut them up.

Mr. Deutsch [Hansen’s boss], who was 23 at the time, said Mr. Hansen was prohibited from doing the interview because of his prior refusal to notify NASA officials when he was granting interviews, not for political reasons.

Citing what he called his "constitutional right" to give interviews, Mr. Hansen admitted violating NASA's press policy but defended his actions.

"It's a very rare case of where you got it on paper," Mr. Hansen said of Mr. Deutsch's e-mail, claiming the blocked interview was not an exception. "This thing was going on all the time."
Free speech gives you the right to speak without going to prison. However, if your employer tells you not to say something or talk about a certain topic, and you do it, they have the RIGHT to fire you. Liberals like this get under my skin. They have no understanding of what the first amendment actually says, and they seem to think it means they can say anything without getting in trouble.

Granted, now no one can say “fag” without going to rehab…

Mr. Hansen refused to denounce earlier comments he made referring to the White House as a "propaganda office," and saying, "It seems more like Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union than the United States."

"I was referring to the constraints of speaking to the media," Mr. Hansen said, when asked about his comments.
I am honestly beginning to question this guys intelligence. If Bush was a Nazi, Hansen would have been dead before he gave one interview. That's right, he would be dead.

Republicans questioned him about his ties to prominent Democrats.

Mr. Hansen received a $250,000 grant from the Heinz foundation, which is controlled by Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Sen. John Kerry, Massachusetts Democrat. Mr. Hansen was a vocal supporter of Mr. Kerry's 2004 presidential campaign.
What a surprise. It turns out that this political hack received money from other political hacks of the same persuasion. If you don’t like scientists receiving money from oil companies, then you have to be against this.

For his part, Mr. Hansen explained that he has not always disagreed with the administration's environmental positions, offering approval for increased research into nuclear power and praising the White House's support for a methane gas program.

"It is a success story, and the administration should be given credit for it," Mr. Hansen said.
WTF…that almost makes me laugh. It sounds like someone really made him rethink what he was actually saying during his testimony. He went from calling Bush a Nazi to calling the administration a success story.

I think he is dumb and I hope his lazy ass (giving interviews all day) isn’t on the government payroll anymore.
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Thursday, March 15, 2007
Bush Uses Jedi Mind Trick On Fake Terrorist
President George W. Bush appears to have used an old Jedi mind trick on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

Now before I get to this story, I must preface this blog with a short reminder.

Most learned people already know that George Bush is the worlds’ number one terrorist and that he planned 9/11 and that the whole War on Terrorism is part of an elaborate scheme by him and his Nazi/Republican allies to take over the world and make money off of oil.

Therefore, anyone attempting to confess to a terrorist plot must be a fabrication of the Bush Administration. All the Osama bin Laden videos, all the terrorist attacks prior and post 9/11, and all the Muslims that riot when they see cartoons they don't like - they are all Nazi/Republican propagand.

Back to the original story…George Bush has upped the quality of his propaganda this week by some how convincing Khalid Sheikh Mohammed into confessing to the 9/11 attacks.

This conspiracy is getting more and more complicated, but I’m sure my boys at Loose Change will figure out a way around this one.

Maybe Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is being paid millions to confess to crimes he had nothing to do with...or maybe Bush recruited him from day one and planned this whole event seven years in advance!


In all seriousness, how low does your IQ have to be to believe 9/11 was a conspiracy? The answer must be somewhere in the 80's.
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
To All The Pseudo-Environmentalists
Here is a nice list of questions for all those who are environmentalist posers:

Do you like the idea of nuclear power?

Are you a vegetarian?

Do you use public transportation?

Do you live in Southern California?*

Do you live in the city?

Do you think Al Gore is dumb?

Do you want to forsake your Christianity (or whatever other religious beliefs you subscribe to) and join a new religion based on fear and environmentalism?

If you answered no to any of these questions, then you are part of the problem. So please…pull the plank out of your eye before you pull the splinter out of mine.

*You may wonder what Southern California has to do with any of this. The fact is, Southern California does have the best weather. You can get by with little or no heating or cooling bills, which drastically cut the amount of energy someone uses. So if you live somewhere where it snows, has intense humidity, or regularly gets above 100 degrees, then you are part of the problem. Unfortunately this is just about everyone except for Southern California.
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Mexican Makes Good Joke
Mexican’s proved they have a devilish sense of humor recently. You can read it here in the New York Times:

Just a few days before President Bush was scheduled to land here on Monday for bilateral talks, the Mexican Foreign Ministry sent an angry diplomatic note to the United States.

The note complained that United States Border Patrol agents had crossed the border and ventured a couple of dozen feet into Mexico to put out a rapidly spreading brush fire. “Even in emergency situations, the Mexican authorities must be notified immediately, without exception,” the note said.
This must be a joke. Regardless of its seriousness, I have decided to write a letter to the Mexican Foreign Minister. Here it goes:

Mr. Foreign Minister,

I recently read about how angry you were when American Border Patrol agents crossed the Mexican border without permission or notification. I understand where you are coming from. Nobody likes it when a foreign country allows its people to enter their country unannounced and uninvited. Such actions are rude, arrogant, and illegal. I would be happy if my country were to notify Mexico of any future border incursions by its citizens – assuming you are willing return the favor.

Go to hell,

David Quijano
I have a feeling that we are pretty close to forming an international consensus here.

I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that most Americans would rather have a few Mexican Border Patrol agents cross over into our country to put out a fire as opposed to 12 million illegal immigrants. Just a guess.

So excuse me if I don't sympathize with this moron. Your country is in much greater violation of international law than the US is.
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An Inconvenient Rebuttal
The New York Times ran an interesting article in their science section regarding Al Gore’s fairy tale epic: An Inconvenient Truth.

The article does a very good job addressing many of the main points that pseudo-scientists like Al Gore try to bring up when talking about global warming. What’s more impressive is that these responses come from actual scientists and not politicians with delusions of grandeur (remember, Al Gore still thinks he invented the internet).

So without further delay, here are some of the best bits of the article as I saw it. If you want to read it, you better do so today, because New York Times articles are only free the day they are publicized. After that, you are required to have a subscription.

Addressing the idea that there is a scientific consensus regarding global warming:
“Hardly a week goes by,” Dr. Peiser said, “without a new research paper that questions part or even some basics of climate change theory,” including some reports that offer alternatives to human activity for global warming.
Addressing the idea that climate change is somehow new or unheard of:

Geologists have documented age upon age of climate swings, and some charge Mr. Gore with ignoring such rhythms.

“Nowhere does Mr. Gore tell his audience that all of the phenomena that he describes fall within the natural range of environmental change on our planet,” Robert M. Carter, a marine geologist at James Cook University in Australia, said in a September blog. “Nor does he present any evidence that climate during the 20th century departed discernibly from its historical pattern of constant change.”

In October, Dr. Easterbrook made similar points at the geological society meeting in Philadelphia. He hotly disputed Mr. Gore’s claim that “our civilization has never experienced any environmental shift remotely similar to this” threatened change.

Nonsense, Dr. Easterbrook told the crowded session. He flashed a slide that showed temperature trends for the past 15,000 years. It highlighted 10 large swings, including the medieval warm period. These shifts, he said, were up to “20 times greater than the warming in the past century.”

Getting personal, he mocked Mr. Gore’s assertion that scientists agreed on global warming except those industry had corrupted. “I’ve never been paid a nickel by an oil company,” Dr. Easterbrook told the group. “And I’m not a Republican.”

Do you mean to say that not all global warming deniers (sounds like holocaust deniers) are followers of Fuehrer Bush and members of the Fascist Party of Amerika?!??!!
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Thursday, March 08, 2007
South America: The Second Worst Continent in the World
President Bush is currently visiting a number of South American countries. It seems to be going as one would expect…

Thousands of students, environmentalists and other protesters, some waving communist flags, gathered in the business district of South America's largest city ahead of Bush's arrival.
Apparently the history textbooks in Brazil haven’t been updated in the past 20 years. They seemed to have missed the part of history that showed us that communism was the most oppressive and deadly form of government in the history of mankind. They also missed the part where the rich people in the Soviet Union were less well off than poor people in the United States. Maybe the President can get some money sent down there so they can update those books. Pronto! They are in danger of embarrassing themselves if they keep holding such silly protests.

Bush played down the protests in interviews ahead of his trip with Latin American news organizations.

"I am proud to be going to a part of the world where people can demonstrate, where people can express their minds [did President Bush make a joke?]," he said in an interview with Univision. And he told CNN En Espanol: "The trip is to remind people that we care."
I don’t understand how President Bush maintains his composure with this kind of nonsense going on. If I were him, I would probably completely write-off South America. Frankly, the people there are ridiculous. They all want to come here and make more money, but they all have a certain degree of antipathy for the US.

How do I know? I talked to a few of these retards in my lifetime. They exist. People that come here for school or work but believe America is an imperialist oppressor. It drives me insane.

Chavez, aligned with Cuba's Fidel Castro and a fierce critic of Bush, is marking Bush's trip with a rival tour of the region.

On Saturday, the Venezuelan leader will speak at an "anti-imperialist" rally in a soccer stadium in Buenos Aires, Argentina, about 40 miles across the Plate River from Montevideo, where Bush will be holding talks on Saturday with Uruguay's president, Tabare Vazquez.
I honestly wonder how many illegal immigrants are breaking down the fences to get into Venezuela? This point has been made a thousand times, but I have to bring it up. No one wants to go to any of these South American countries. They don’t have immigration problems. You think they could use their brains enough to understand that their countries aren’t beacons of hope, while America is. So why are they so against our economic policies (capitalism and free trade) when their economic systems may as well have been written by monkeys? It only seems logical for them to adopt our ways (economically speaking). Their superstition against capitalism and free markets is getting really old. Part of me wants to say: “to hell with you and your voodoo economics, do things your way, you are on your own.”

Silva, in turn, has said he will press the U.S. Congress to repeal or scale back the 54-cent per gallon U.S. tariff on sugar-based Brazilian ethanol. Bush and Silva also were expected to talk about efforts to salvage the World Trade Organization talks - the so-called Doha round - that collapsed in discord last summer over farm subsidies and other disputes.
Speaking of voodoo economics…why the hell is there a tariff on sugar-based ethanol. That is outrageous. Here we are, claiming to want to diversify our energy sources, and one of the most proven alternatives is being hindered by caveman economic polices. All I'm saying is that Democrats (for their own sake) better not be the ones responsible for this.

Among those participating in Thursday's protests were environmentalists and social groups who oppose the biofuels project, fearing that Brazil may clear pristine jungle to ramp up sugarcane cultivation. Greenpeace activists hung a huge banner warning against increased reliance on ethanol as an alternative fuel on a monument to 17th century Portuguese explorers and conquerors.
Are they for real? Is this the next step in the environmental movement? First they are against the oil companies and want to move to alternative fuels. Now they want to get rid of the alternative fuels. I really do hate environmentalists…almost as much as they hate the President.
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Monday, March 05, 2007
Bill Maher is on the Edge of His Seat
Bill Maher, the man who openly wished Al-Qeada had successfully killed Vice President Dick Cheney, must be feeling extra giddy today:

Doctors found a blood clot in Vice President Dick Cheney's left leg on Monday but he was not admitted to a hospital and will be treated with blood thinning medication, his office said.
So close Bill! Maybe next time! Good luck with that whole wishing death on nationally elected politicians thing! Way to stay positive and nonpartisan. You are truly above the fray.
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Sunday, March 04, 2007
Drew Barrymore Enlightens the World
This is from regarding Drew Barrymore:

Drew Barrymore claims she is "a sexual, free, f***ing nudist wood nymph" when it comes to sex.

The actress, who recently split from her long-term boyfriend The Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, insists she has a very liberal attitude towards sex which she is proud of.

Drew - who has hinted she is bisexual - said in an interview with Jane magazine: "I'm a sexual, free, f***ing nudist little bird running around and a wood nymph when it comes to sexuality."

Drew has also revealed she wants to have a family.
Sounds like you're doing a bang up job. Keep up the good work Drew. Wait...there's more.

Despite her previous failed relationships, the 'Charlie's Angels' star is still looking for 'Mr. Right' to settle down with and have babies.

She added: "I would definitely like to have a family one day. I don't know when or with who, but I don't picture myself alone or bitter.

"When I get old, I am not going to be wearing polyester pants either. I'm going to wear old Levis' and Birkenstocks.
Awwww...well just keep doing what you're doing. Eighth time's the charm right?

The way I see it, we should all have sex with about 25 people before we get married. That way we can properly test our sexual compatability with every possible body and personality type and every combination thereof.

From those 25 partners, we should have kids with about three so we can make sure we keep all our options open. After all, some people aren't going to be good parents. This way, you can pick who you would like to spend the rest of your life with from the best of three. It's a sweet deal.

I know what the readers of the Conservative Bastion are thinking:

WTF, shouldn't we follow the time tested formual of sexual prudence. Doesn't it make sense to have a limited amount of partners to avoid STD's, broken hearts, and broken homes.

My answer: NONSENSE! You have to be open-minded like me. We should have sex with as many partners as possible (like animals) because it feels good.

And with that...I would like to end this post with a visual aide...


Sexual morals only a degenerate could love...

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Bill Maher is Officially a Terrorist
This just in: Bill Maher has officially joined Al Qaeda!

You can read about Bill Maher’s official announcement of his newly found Al-Qaeda membership here. It cracks me up when some liberals get mad when their patriotism is supposedly challenged. For the most part, I don’t think this actually takes place, but it should in this case. Here is a snippet of what he had to say…

But I have zero doubt that if Dick Cheney was not in power, people wouldn’t be dying needlessly tomorrow.

I’m just saying if he did die, other people, more people would live. That’s a fact.
Way to keep it classy Maher.

Essentially Maher is rooting for Al-Qaeda terrorists to be successful in their attempt to assassinate of a nationally elected figure. In other words, he hates democracy.

For a refresher, Bill Maher is the same guy who said in 2001 that the terrorists of 9/11 were brave warriors. He got a lot of crap for that statement, but frankly I agree with him. It might sound unpatriotic to commend the bravery of the enemy, but there is no way you can say that someone willing to sacrifice their life for a cause is a coward. As Maher said at the time, they are “moral cowards”, but extremely brave in terms of battle.

This, however, is a totally different situation. He has now chosen his side in the war on terrorism, and should probably be deported to Europe or wherever the hell his family came from. This guy is scum.
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