Conservative Bastion
The only blog that can factually claim to shift the Bell Curve, along with the hearts & minds of America, to the right.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Liberal Response RE: Wal-Mart
Greetings comrade. When I was asked to write the liberal response to the commentary that appeared on this site regarding Wal-Mart , I burst with joy. Wal-Mart is one of the best examples of how America and capitalism have failed. There is so much to rant about, I don’t know where to start. For purpose of length and interest, I will try to keep my arguments short and concise.

Underpaid Workers

One of the most explicit forms of unfairness that is harnessed by the beast (known to you as Wal-Mart), is the way it treats its workers. First of all, the idea that Wal-Mart has “workers” is another George Bush/neo con lie. As far as I’m concerned, Wal-Mart employees are modern day slaves with a corporate twist.

Not only do they get paid dirt, but they can’t even afford to live a decent life on their salary. The illogical and money grubbing conservative would say, “get a different job” or “go back to school.” I say, “lets force Wal-Mart to do things the way we want them to.”

Undercutting Mom and Pop Stores

Wal-Mart is the perfect example of rich oppression of the poor. Not only do they like to pick on their workers, they like to put other retailers out of business, namely mom and pop stores. Evil conservatives say this is how capitalism works. I say it is evil. A mom and pop store should be able to overcharge its customers, overpay its workers, provide a feeble selection of goods, and have a bad business model without fear of being outperformed by Wal-Mart.

Poor Quality Products

It is a wonder why anyone even shops at Wal-Mart. Everyone should get their clothes at nice stores like Express and Abercrombie. Who would want to buy the cheap crap they sell at Wal-Mart? I’ll tell you who: people that work at Wal-Mart! They are so underpaid, it is the only place they can shop! It goes beyond that though. Wal-Mart also sells furniture, electronics, and food, all of which are below my standards. I can’t understand why it is the biggest retailer in the world. Some recite conservative propaganda about poor people liking cheap prices, but that is racist. How? I’m not sure, but most arguments by conservatives are racist at their core.

Maybe if they paid their employees $25 an hour they could afford nice things, but they don’t, so they have to shop at Wal-Mart.

Profits over People

The overall theme of Wal-Mart is that money is more important than people. Wal-Mart defenders say they provide necessary goods and services for millions around the world for cheap prices, that without Wal-Mart, goods would be unavailable in secluded areas. They say Wal-Mart is the crux of capitalism making the economy, more efficient and forcing retailers all across the country to be more competitive, with a net gain to consumers.

Of course this is a load of lies (similar to how Bush lied about WMD). Wal-Mart is evil because they like profits and they sit in their big corporate chairs making money and smoking cigars. Smoking is bad and it hurts people too.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Wal-Mart sucks – kind of like how President Bush sucks. The difference is that Bush is out of office in a couple years and who knows how long we will be stuck with Wal-Mart.

The best defense of Wal-Mart is the idea that all people should be treated the same under the law. The extreme racists on the right, a.k.a. the Republican Party, say that Wal-Mart should be no different. As a capitalism-hating communist (as most my comrades are that believe in the cause against Wal-Mart), I almost fell for that one. I thought about it deeply and I figured that when the drafters of the 14th amendment wrote the equal protection clause, they didn’t know about the oppression of Wal-Mart. I’m sure if they were alive today, they would support legislation restricting their expansion .

Trust me on this one, the free market has made a mistake. I know that people have voted with their pocket books over the years and have made Wal-Mart into the largest corporation in the world, but they were wrong. That is why we must act now before Wal-Mart does any more damage to our freedom (kind of like how Bush puts people in prison without a trial). Think of me as an older brother. I know best.
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2 Comments:
Blogger Melanie said...
Can I just hate Wal-Mart because it sucks?

Blogger jakob said...
wait, wait, wait. i can solve all your problems, and walmart isn't one of them, trust ME:

1. don't work there, just shop there. (cheap prices = more $ 4 u)

2. return ANY product that is 'poor quality' or even that you just get sick of. [they WILL return ANYTHING (sometimes things you didn't even purchase there) and you'll get a full refund = more $ 4 u)

3. Wal-Mart = more $ 4 u = good.

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